


Losing All

by XanderLuvsAll



Series: A Dragon's Grief [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Minor Character Death, Targaryen!Tyrion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 18:49:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3082562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XanderLuvsAll/pseuds/XanderLuvsAll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyrion must deal with more loss and deal with all the loss he suffered during the Rebellion as he makes a hard choose</p>
            </blockquote>





	Losing All

**Author's Note:**

> This story in connected to my series a Dragon's CHildhood but you don't have to read it to understand this story. Just that Tyrion is Aerys and Joanna's son and was raised by Aerys

As Tyrion clutched desperately at Lyanna's hand as she struggled to give birth without any help from anyone since Arthur, who was suppose to be getting the midwife was ..busy. Something that Tyrion wanted to worry about but all he could focus on was Lyanna, as he could not lose her. Not after news of what had happened to his family had been delivered by a griefstricken Ashara. Tyrion could not lose the only thing he had left in this world. With Rhaegar dead, Lyanna was truly the only one that he loved so completely. His father and Rhaegel came close but they were dead as well and now Lyanna was laboring to bring forth their children and Tyrion feared that it was taking to long and that he was losing her as he had lost so many already.

Finally though with one final scream a baby emerged from Lyanna just as Tyrion felt another, by now familiar, ripping sensation in his heart and knew that Arthur had just been killed. He was to busy being distracted by that, that Tyrion didn't even realize that another baby had just come out of Lyanna until he heard the cry then he looked down and concentrated on that. Not on Arthur or Gerold, who must also be dead. Tyrion had his children and Lyanna to take care of and thus could not focus on losing more people. Tyrion saw that he had a son, who had been born the moment Arthur had died and he had a girl. Rhaegar would have been so happy about her, the third head but that no longer mattered since the other two heads were dead. Still though Tyrion looked at the girl.

"You shall be called anything but Visenya." The name would be to painful after all, a daily reminder of his niece and nephew. Of all that he had lost. The boy though was easy as he had always known what he would name his son. Daeron, after both the Young Dragon who had so daringly conquered Dorne and Daeron the Good who had finally brought Dorne under his family for good through marriage and not war. Tyrion had always liked both of them and so had always planned on his son being named that. So as Tyrion cleaned up the children and tried to help Lyanna, he knew that he just had to come up with a name for the girl. Hopefully Lyanna would have some suggestion but then Tyrion heard someone coming up the stairs and was surprised.

Sure he had known that Arthur was dead and that Gerold was dead but never had he suspected that whoever was attacking them had survived but Tyrion knew that whoever was coming up the stairs was not Oswell. So Arthur had died for nothing, grief immediately tried to consume Tyrion but he pushed it away. Tyrion immediately rose and faced the door. Ready to protect Lyanna as best he could. Summoning Dark Sister to him while gathering all the power that he had left to him, sadly though it was not very much at all, not after grief had robbed him of almost all his strength and what had remained had fled with Arthur death and the exhaustion of helping Lyanna through the birth. He hadn't even enough to try to heal Lyanna as Brynden had healed Joanna so long ago.

To say that Tyrion was surprised when Ned Stark walked into the room would be a very large understatement and he was rather unsure of what to do even if a part of him raged to kill him. Avenge his family even if Ned hadn't done any of the killing, he had still been part of the Rebellion. Ned also appeared unsure of what to do and he appeared exhausted which filled Tyrion with satisfaction as Tyrion remembered that while Ned had not killed his family, he had just killed Arthur. The only none family member that Tyrion loved with everything in him. Tyrion raised Dark Sister but then Lyanna cried out.

"Stop."

Instantly both of them turned and looked at her.

"Hasn't there been enough death."

Ned looked at his sister and the babies that she held tightly to her even as the bed she was laying was being covered with blood and he knew. She had not been taken, she had not been raped or anything of the sort. He remembered Harendale and remembered it was not Rhaegar who she had spent the most time with, it had been the youngest Dragon Prince. The one that stood before him, ready to fight him even though all knew that he was no warrior. That he suffered form the Sacred Disease and that since the Fever, he had become easily weakened. Yet the Prince still stood to defend his sister.

Not to mention the presence of three Kingsguard made Ned wonder."Lya...You love him."

"I married him."

Tyrion glanced at his wife then Ned and finally lowered Dark Sister and returned to his wife and children's side, allowing Ned to do the same on the other side. Tyrion wished desperately that he could save Lyanna, who he could feel slipping from him but he had already tried and failed. And Brynden was not answering his call, no matter how many times he yelled. Tyrion yelled mentally for his Uncle while Lyanna and Need spoke, only paying attention when he heard

"and I am dying...I can feel it and I need you to promise me." The weakness in her voice made tears come to Tyrion's eyes.

"Anything, ask me anything and I will promise, only fight Lyanna...Just fight. I cannot bare to lose anymore.:

"Promise me, you'll look after and protect my children and husband...I heard Tyrion and Arthur speaking... I know what happened to Rhaegar's children...Tyrion didn't know I could hear them...He tried so hard for me not to learn what was going on...but I know. I know what happened to Rhaegar and I know what happened to Aegon and Rhaenys. Robert will kill Tyrion just as he killed Rhaegar, who I well loved as well. And Robert will see my children dead as he saw Rhaegar's children...Promise me...Ned, promise me."

Once Lyanna had extracted the promise from Ned, she turned back to TTyrion and caressed his cheek."I will always love you,TY and i will be waiting for you on the other side.. Don't join me to soon though."

Then Tyrion watched as the light went out of Lyanna's eyes and he howled in his grief as he clutched Lyanna to him. Holding on desperately to her as he started to sob in utter despair while Ned held onto the babies with tears coursing down his cheeks. Howland quietly left the room, leaving them to their grief while tears coursed down his own cheeks. Howland gathered the bodies and laid them out properly while in the Tower the husband and the brother of Lyanna grieved while the babies of Lyanna had no idea what they had just lost.

For hours they stayed in that room before finally the crying of the twins forced them to get going.

 

& & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & &&

 

With that Tyrion rode away from what Rhaegar had named the Tower of Joy but had ended up becoming the Tower of Grief, Despair and Loss. As Tyrion had lost everything here and now was left alone and grief-stricken. Save for the two children with him, his mother, the unborn child within her and Viserys, who had been taken to Dragonstone and the traitorous family who had killed his Father, niece, nephew and Elia. Tyrion's beloved brother and lover had been butchered by the kin-slaying Usurper dog while Rhaegel had been killed by Brynden Tully while Daemon had been killed by the Usurper and his body had been...abused most wretchedly. And though Tyrion had no news of Aerion and Rhaena, he did not have much hope for them.

The Tower had not been very joyful in the end, as it was there that he had received the news one by one of the death of his family and others he cared about. Starting with when Gerold had come with the news of Brandon's death and Rickard and finally ending with the deaths of Elia and the children. Then Lyanna had died in it. So Tyrion was happy to watch as it was torn down while he had held the children. He was less happy to watch Ned use those stones to cover Gerold's grave, though he insisted on taking Arthur with them. He would see his body returned to the Daynes just as Dawn would be. As Arthur deserved to be buried amongst his family, Tyrion owed that much to the man that had scarified all for him. Who had tried to talk him out of what he had done with Lyanna but who had still gone with him. Arthur had meant so much to Tyrion but he had still led him to his doom and death. Something that Tyrion would never forgive himself for, anymore then he would for all the other deaths.

Once they arrived in Starfall, Tyrion was forced to watch as Ashara and Aren received the news of Arthur's death after they had tried to comfort him for his loss and it was not easy for him. Tyrion loved Ashara dearly and hated to see her in pain and while he was not close to Aren, he still did not like to see Ashara and Arthur's brother in pain. Then something far worse happened.

Aren turned to Tyrion and wished with all his might that he did not have to be the one to tell him this but he had no choice." My Prince...Word came to us the other day. ..The siege at Dragonstone was broken...A storm destroyed the Targaryen fleet and...Your mother died giving birth and Ser William fled with Viserys and the newborn baby...They had gone across the sea."

The grief at learning the last of his family was dead was to much for Tyrion and he just collapsed and almost begged for one of them to kill him. As now he was truly alone. Ashara immediately moved to Tyrion's side and took him into her arms while Aren wished he could as well but he had never been close to the Prince, not like his siblings had. Ned looked on uncomfortable, wanting to comfort Tyrion as well, as he remembered his promise to Lyanna but he did not know how. Especially not when it was his side that had caused all of this and it had all been started by misunderstandings.

Aren looked at Stark." Perhaps it would be best if you retire and leave this to ones who actually have the right." Ned could see he was not welcome and so left, planning on going to Tyrion later on, once he was alone.

The moment that Ned was escorted out of the room Aren turned to Tyrion and kneeled before him.

"Aemon, Dorne will rise for you. Will make you King and avenge all that you have lost.:"

"I have never had any desire to be King despite what my Father wanted. I was to be Hand, ruling beside Rhaegar..And now I have no desire to do anything but curl up and die. So I don't have to be without all of my family."

"Aemon, you must not give up. You have to avenge.."Tyrion raised his hand, stopping Ashara.

"No matter how much I want to avenge them all, I know that I cannot. Even with Dorne, its not enough. We would lose and more lives would be lost for nothing...And I am just so very tired. I don't have the energy to do.. anything...I just want to go home with my children and never leave it again but I know I cannot. I have to run."

Tyrion left the room and retired to his chambers where the children were being taken care of by Wyalla. Once she left Tyrion was about to collapse onto the bed when there was a knock. Tyrion thought about ignoring it but finally sighed and went to open it and was surprised to see Ned on the other side.

"I...just want to see the children." Time past as the two of them just gazed at the children that was the last piece of Lyanna. One that looked so like her but male and one that looked like Tyrion. Ned was the first to speak." He looks Stark.:

"Yes. he looks like her. His eyes are very grey, just like hers."

"You know that you can't claim them as hers...Robert would...It would not end well."

"I am aware of that Stark. I'm not called the Philosopher Prince because I'm an idiot.. I will claim that I married...someone during the war and was with her until she died giving birth...It is horrific to not acknowledge her as my wife and love but...I know she would understand...Would want it this way."

"Yes, she would...I promised to protect the three of you...and I will keep that promise to the best of my ability...Which is why I tell you this. Daeron looks to much like a Stark as a baby to pass...Imagine what he will look like as he ages...One day it will be imposable to ignore."

"Which is why I am leaving Westores behind."

"You are going to live on the run..Join your siblings."

"Yes. Its the only choice. No Targaryen is safe here...Not until there is another war that restores my family to the throne...I will let you see them if you wish as they are your family...And you have lost enough of that...In time I could send you word of a spot where we could meet in Essos and as long as you come alone...You could spend time with them every now and then."

"I would like that...I promised Lyanna that I would protect and take care of the three of you...I cannot do that if you are not here...I cannot keep my promise if I never see you again."

"Ned...That promise.. I will not hold you to it. I would understand that..." Tyrion could not speak anymore as Ned had placed a finger over his lips.

"I promised. I have never broken a promise and I certainly will not start with the promise I made my dying sister."

"If the Usupering bastard ever learns of my children and finds out you knew, it would mean your life."

"I am well aware of Roberts feelings regarding Targaryens..I will never forget him looking down at the bodies of Aegon and Rhaenys and him calling them dragonspawn."

Tyrion's eyes flashed and the furniture and glass all moved in his anger. He had not heard that part of the story, only that the Usurper was happy about the death of his youngest kin. It made Tyrion want to accept Aren's offer and to go to war, even knowing that they would lose. Tyrion so wanted to see Robert dead for Rhaegar's and Daemon's deaths and the joy he had for the death of Aegon and Rhaenys but he knew another war would accomplish nothing. And after everything Tyrion just wanted to lay down and not get up again. The agony of all that he had lost had drained him of his strength, which was something that Tyrion rarely had in abundance in the first place. Not since the Fever anyway. Any part of Tyrion that had strength left after losing Rhaeagr had died with Lyanna. No, it would be easier just to leave. To flee and join his siblings.

Tyrion looked at Ned and saw how much his features were like Lyanna and felt like crying but also...Without truly thinking about it, Tyrion leaned forward and kissed Ned. Who jerked back and Tyrion looked at him sadly. " You.. just looked so much like her...Your hair, your eyes, even your.. face resembles her ...I ..need her ..so much."

Ned looked at Tyrion and remembered his promise to Lyanna and he remembered always being drawn to the young Prince at Harrendale, that something had made Ned want him. As it had Lyanna and Brandon, something about Tyrion seemed to call to those with Stark blood in a way no other had ever managed. Even Benjen had been drawn to and liked the Prince and Ned had his suspicions about what his Father had felt for him as well. Ned leaned toward Tyrion and kissed him back. The two of them swiftly ended up in bed and in their shared grief spent the night going between having sex and making love.

 

 

* * * * * * ** * * ** * * ** * * * ** 

 

In the morning Tyrion left Ned sleeping and went to eat with the remaining Dayne siblings then spent time with just Ashara as they mourned for all that they had lost. They spoke of Arthur and Rhaegel and of Rhaegar, Elia and the children. Even speaking of Lyanna, though that was brief as Ashara barely knew her. Only having met her at Harrendake and the few times Ashara had come to the Tower. After a while the talk went to the Rebellion and to how everyone had died. Ending in talk of the Sack and the death of his Father and the murders of Elie, Rhaenys and Aegon. It was at the last three that Tyrion was having the most trouble.

"Tywin has loved my Father for longer then I have been alive...I know that these last few years have been...difficult for Tywin but I...never believed he would do such a thing...Never would I have believed him capable of doing such a horrid act to Father or to me...I know that Tywin is capable of doing it, Castamare proved that but...They were his enemy...I didn't think he could do it to one he loved for so long and one he claimed just at Harrendale before he left that he still loved...I just don't understand."

"Why does it matter? They are dead...Just let it be."

"I want to know why Tywin did...what he did...I need to know why he did it."

"Because he's a monster."

"Yes...Yes he is...but I want ...he always has a reason for everything he does...I know everything that my Father has done to him since Duskendale has been ...horrible but I never thought he would...If I had but known I would have had him killed...My Uncle said I couldn't trust him but I always did...He swore to me that he would always be loyal no matter what...That I was the beloved son of the only two people that mattered more to him than anything...He swore it...and I like a fool I believed him...I don't understand how I could be so wrong about him...I've always been right.. I've always been able to judge people rightly.. Hells, I knew that Robert would one day take something from me from the moment I met him...I never dreamed it would be so much and all that was so dear to me but I knew.. So how could I not know this."

"Because he swore loyalty to you.. not them." Tyrion turned slightly and saw Aren before him. Tyrion cocked his head but before he could speak Aren continued. " Tywin has declared that you are his son, stolen from him by a mad Aerys...He's declared you a Lannister...The Usurper has believed thus and has allowed you to keep Summerhall... as its Lord, not its Prince in honor of the fact that his Father made it for you."

Tyrion was left reeling ."What! But who would believe that I am not a Targaren. I bare the symbol on my face for crying out loud.. Since birth I have had the dragon on me...Its why I was taken after all, for all would know who's son I truly was and seek to use me...I have the hair...if a bit goldier and I have one purple eye. Hells, I have the magic of Valyria. Who could deny it? Who could possibly be stupid enough to believe it?"

Aren sighed and looked even older as he tried to deal with the angered Prince. "Whatever anyone truly believes it or not is not relevant.. What is, is that the Usurper has stated publically that he does...Probably because he does not want to go against the man that.. cleared the way for him...This is probably what Tywin demand for what he did."

Ashara snorted in disgust. "So Elia, Aegon and Rhaenys have died so Tywin could try to claim Tyrion as his own."

"They have died...So Tywin could save Tyrion...the Usurper would have seen him dead as he's seen Rhaegar, Daemon and...Rhaegel dead...Aerion and Rhaena have fled across the Sea. " Yet another blow to Tyrion." Targaryens are not safe here...What Lannister did will never be forgivable or right or in anyway not monstrously evil but would you rather see Aemon dead, sister,."

"NO. Never. I love him and...Arthur loved him as did Rhaegel...And despite everything so did Elia..."Ashara turned to Tyrion and cupped his face." I am glad you will be safe...Never doubt that.."

Aren nodded. " As am I.. You realize what this means, Aemon."

"That my family died for me twice over. Once for my running away with Lyanna and then to save my life from the Usurper that murdered my beloved brother.

"No. It means you don't have to run.. You can stay here and raise your children in safety."

"NO. I go to my siblings...and my cousins. To the last brother I truly have after what...the Kingslayer has done, he is no brother of mine. Viserys needs me as does the new baby.. I want to go home, to Sumemrhall but ...Whats left of my family needs me.

Ashara frowned." Aemon, I don't doubt that they need you but...The twins need you as well. They need a stable home and to know that they are safe."

"Ashara is right, Aemon."

"I know that but how can I provide that for them?...And how can I abandon my siblings and cousins?"

"You can give them that by accepting what Tywin has arranged..no matter how distasteful and hateful you find it...As for the Princes and Princesses...Who are more important to you, your children or your siblings and cousins. I know that is a cruel question but...It is an honest one. Unless your willing to fight, to start the war again, you cannot have both. The only way to give your children a happy stable home is to remain here while the only way to help and be with your siblings and cousins are to go to Essos and live on the run with them...So you will have to choose."

"Choose. Viserys...My little brother who I love so...and the unknown sibling who claimed the life of my mother, Aerion who is my only friend left now that the others are dead and Stannis has shown that his loyalty does not lie with me and his rightful King and family...and Rhaena, Aerion's beloved wife and sister...  
...and my children who I love and who are the last of Lyanna that I will ever have...Lyanna, who I destroyed all for...Who I lost all for...She begged Ned to protect the children and I...With her dying breath, she begged. How can I choose anything but them...Even over Viserys...even for Aerion."

Ashara looked at Aemon."In all truth, you cannot. I would do anything for Allyria, even sacrifice Aren and...Arthur...That is what any parent is suppose to do."

Tyrion knew that Ashara spoke the truth but it truly hurt to even contemplate abandoning Viserys and his cousins to their doom, it even hurt to leave his unknown sibling. In the end though Tyrion thought of his twins and Lyanna and knew there was no true choose." I must do what is best for my children...No matter what." Even if it means losing one of them. As Daeron could not stay with him, not when he looked so like a Stark.

"You are doing the right thing, Aemon..Your children should be protected over all else first.. You may have to give up your siblings and cousins but you have your children"

"But I do have to give up my son." Tyrion knew that there would be no way to keep Daeron, Ned was right that he looked to much like a Stark even as an infant. It would be to dangerous in the long run.

 

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

 

 

As Tyrion was forced to watch as Ned rode away with his son, now called Jon, he knew that he would never recover from it anymore then he would recover from all else that had happened. After all, nothing would ever be the same after losing so much but with...Jon he had willingly let him go. Something that had hurt dreadfully, even while having his daughter. Even knowing that it was necessary as even as a baby Jon had to much of a Stark look just as Elaena had to much of a Targaryen/Lannister look. Neither of them could raise them both without leaving Westores behind and Ashara and Aren were right. That would be no life for his beautiful twins, even if Tyrion wanted to run to his brother, cousins and unknown sibling and never look back.

Elaena though was more important then what Tyrion wanted though and nothing would ever change that, not when she was all he had left of Lyanna. Now that Jon was gone. Which meant that Tyrion truly understood what Joanna Lannister must have gone through, though Tyrion would have it easier in a way. As unlike her he would not to see Jon every day. Watching him call someone else mother, loving someone else. The thought filled him with rage, thinking of Jon growing up believing that Ned is his father, of growing up in the North far from Tyrion. The fact that a Tully would help raise him angered Tyrion as well, as he well remembered who had killed Rhaegel.

Those thoughts were plaguing him as he watched as Ned, Jon and Reed rode further and further away from him and they did not stop going away from him even as Ashara came up behind him.

"Aemon, will you be okay."

"No...I shall never be okay again...I am alone."'

"I know.. So I am...I loved them so much.".

":I can't believe Rhaegel and Brandon are gone...I never meant for any of this to happen, Ash."

"I know... You fell in love and... When I fell in love with Rhaegel I acted foolishly without thought of the consequences. We married in secret and if not for Rhaegar, Aerys would have...Well I doubt it would have been pretty as I was by far not worthy of a Prince in his eyes and we did not have permission. But we were in love...Just as we fell in love with Brandon at Harrendale...Brandon was going to break his betrothal and give up the North if he had to to be with us...Because we were in love...That was all you did. No one could have thought this would happened...No one thought, not even I, that Brandon would be so foolish as to try to challenge Rhaegar in the middle of Kings Landing.. Right where the Mad King was...Sorry, Aerys."

"I know what my father was..Escipally in the end...I just didn't and don't care.. He was my Father and that was all that mattered to ...Though I do wish he hadn't killed Brandon and Rickard. I know he was just being protective of Rhaegar in his own way...or perhaps he knew it was I that truly ran away with Lyanna...I don't know and thanks to my betraying piece of shit brother I shall never know...I trusted Jaime, I loved him almost as much as I loved Viserys and he...He did this...He killed my father and I don't know what to do about it..I want to kill him in the most horrible way possible...and I want to demand why...Why would he kill my father...and ...how could Tywin do what he did...Even to save me...How could he think that it was okay...Aegon...Rhaenys..They were my family. My nephew and niece and i loved them so...They were Rhaegar's ...How could he do it?"

"Perhaps his love for you mattered more to him." Tyrion turned slightly toward the new voice and saw Aren." I saw Tywin watching you multiple times...and I saw the way he once watched Aerys..before Duskendale. It was the same look. He loved Aerys and he loves you as he did Joanna. That kind of love...it can cause people to do things that one can never imagine doing...Tywin could probably think of no other way to protect you then...to declare his loyalty to the Usurper in the most profound way possibly...And this...What he did will ensure that as everyone knows that no Targaryen or their supporters will ever go to Tywin and if...when the Targaryens come back to power, all Lannisters will be killed."

Tyrion was left reeling and finally turned completly away from the horizon where his son was disappearing into and faced Aren completely." Love...You think that Tywin did what he did out of love for me."

"Yes. I believe that he killed them as his way of saying: Look at this, I hate the Targaryens so much as they took my son so I do this horrendous thing to them...The Usurper would not doubt such a thing.. Not with his hatred of the Targaryens, he would believe anything even something as stupid as you not being a Targaryen...What Tywin did was not even close to being right but you are safe here.. Here in a place where no Targaryen is safe."

Ashara gasped."Allyria."

Aren smiled, though it was more of a grimace." I thought of that...Thanks to the scandal of your marriage to Rhaegel, no one knows that you gave birth to her...as you remained in seclusion...Only those close to us know...They know of your last pregnancy thanks to you being in court and they know ..."

"That I lost her."

Aren nodded. "Yes ... Allyria though no one knows of...But people do know that mother died in childbirth."

"You would have people believe that Allyria is my sister."

Tyrion spoke, weary of the conversation and just wanting to go curl up somewhere and scream and cry and yell until everything was fixed." Better that than dead...Rhaenys is only two years older than her...Allyria cannot be a Targaryen least she meet the same fate...I will go to Summerhall with Elaena and remain there...Forever.. What you do is up to you...Though I would prefer my cousin not get stabed dozens of times...I just don't have the energy to care...Or the will to fight you or anyone else."

Tyrion walked away from the last Dayne siblings, heart aching for the other, and went to hold Eleana for the rest of the night. Come the morning, Tyrion woke to the news that Ashara had leaped off the Palestine Sword. Too tired and too devastatingly empty for anymore grief, Tyrion just let it wash over him. He stayed to see Arthur and Ashara put into the tombs then he rode for Summerhall with Elaena strapped to his chest and Dayne guards trailing after him.

Once Tyrion arrived at Summerhall, he ordered the gates to be opened and then once he was in he ordered them to be closed. And closed they would remain for years no matter the visitor they remained firmly shut.


End file.
